My Script

After reading my last anti-not-sitting-on-the-couch-and-drinking-beer blog entry, Matt had some comments.

Things I'm NOT allowed to yell at Matt when he runs buy during the Marine Corp Marathon include:
1. Run, fat boy, run.
2. Man you are really taking a long time.
3. I didn't think you'd be this slow.
4. At this rate you are not going to make your 5 hour goal time.
5. Hurry up, I have to pee.
6. You look like crap.
7. You have a little wiener. ??? I think he just threw that one in to make sure I was listening.

After going through this list he started to offer suggestions at thing to yell:
1. You look like a Greek god.
2. Your doing wonderful honey, just minutes behind the leaders.
3. Wow, your going REALLY fast!
4. Your almost done. He said to tell him this even if it's not true.

These "suggestions" come with a back story. The Chicago Triathlon offered a text alert service. When he passed through a checkpoint, I was to get an alert with his times. Although I know it is hard to believe, I am not always the sharpest tack. I hadn't realized that the times I received were cumulative (swim and bike added together). So when I received his time after finishing the bike route I was shocked.

Wow. That took him a really long time.

Which is what came out of my mouth when he ran by.

Are you OK? You took a really long time on the bike!

Dumb? Yeah. Malicious? Absolutely not. Time goes by really slowly when you are sitting on the ground with a fidgety baby.

Hence my list of things NOT to say.