We are a two weeks away from a big moment. My brother is getting married.
I don't know why I haven't specifically written about it. It has been a significant part of our life for the last year. Our entire family is involved; Matt as best man, I as a bridesmaid and the girls as flower girls. It is the reason for our last two trips back to Chicago.
I want him to be happy. I want him to have a home and a family and beyond everything love.
I don't know....
It's not that I'm not happy for him, because I am.
I think I am being selfish.
I am mourning my loss of a single brother. Of someone who has 3 day weekends that are unattached and can be spent focused on.... me. On my family, my girls. That is going away now. To be honest, that didn't really happen all that often, but still.... he will be more of his own person now. Not just a brother, or uncle or son.
So much more, something bigger.
And I assume in the near future,
And nothing trumps that.
My heart burst with happiness for him, but trickles with just enough sadness for me to compel writing this.