When Matt and I were preparing for our wedding, we met with the pastor who wed us for an informal pre-marital session.
I was beyond nervous, but the pastor was beyond nice. Before arriving that day he had asked Matt and I to fill out a survey, keeping our answers confidential from each other. In the spirit of the exercise we did. Even the portion titled ‘Sexual Relations’. Trust me, it was excruciating.
I honestly can’t remember much of the three hour discussion outside of one blip. When we got to the sex portion of our survey, it was the one segment where our answers were 100% identical. It was full of questions like:
“Does your partner fulfill your needs emotionally?”
“Does your partner fulfill your needs sexually?”
“Do you feel pressured to perform sexual acts?”
“Do you see yourself with children in the future?”
“How many children would you like to have?”
Matt and I had no intention of having children. I didn’t want children because of my diabetes and all the ‘what ifs?’ that surrounded pregnancy, for me and a child. Matt didn’t want kids because he said he was absolutely happy with our lives as it is.
A few years after we were married I changed my mind. I did want a child. Technology had changed to the point where I could keep my blood sugar almost perfect, and my AC1 in the non-diabetic range. Plus, new research was showing that the genetic predisposition for type I diabetes was dominant on the fathers side, not the mothers.
When I told Matt I wanted to have a baby, he looked at me with shining eyes and laughed. Defensive, I questioned the laughter. He responded that he thought this would happen some day and that this is how he KNOWS there is a God. God had flipped on my baby making switch and he was on board. While he loved our life together as it is, he would also love any baby we made together with the same passion.
Gracie was born two years ago yesterday, October 12, 2007.
And in 7 more months, she will no longer be an only child.
The switch has been flipped again.
Don’t get too excited though. We are super gluing it in the OFF position after this baby comes.