Big Brother

When I told my former boss Jim, the man who hired both me and Matt, that we were having a girl and her name was to be Clare Elizabeth time stood still for a moment. A man who always has something to say was silent and misty eyed.

Finally in a quiet voice he said, that is my granddaughter's name exactly and she will be born on my wife's birthday. Then after a moment, true to nature, he said with a smile, "Your spelling Clare the right way- the Irish way- right? People will forever spell her name wrong, but those people are all idiots."

Well, Jim was right.

Three weeks into her life and Clare's name has been misspelled in numerous times: cards congratulating us on the birth of our daughter, the birth announcement emails sent out to staff at both mine and Matt's work (where there was an original email with the spelling), her insurance card (where I spelled it for the phone operator at least 4 times before hanging up), and the kicker- on her Social Security card (where it was written clear as day in my own hand).

I'm starting to get a little paranoid. Normally I am quite liberal and open to the trials of bureaucracy, but I think Big Brother might be trying to re-name our child. It is one thing for her name to appear spelled Claire, but it is anther to be changed to a completely different name.

According to the the Social Security Administration, our daughter is now named CLARKE Elizabeth. WTF SSA?

Now we just need to hope that her birth certificate came out of the name process unscathed so we can make the correction though the paperwork process that is the federal government.

Or just give in and start calling her Clarke instead of Clare.

Through Her Eyes

Mother's Day was a week late at daycare this year.

I was undecided as to whether I should attend with Clare (lots of germy, grabby hands in a two year old classroom), but I didn't want Grace to be disappointed that I didn't come. In the end she probably wouldn't have noticed- in a class of 12 kids only 2 other mom's came- but I guess I didn't want to be disappointed that I missed it either.

And I wasn't.

We made dragonfly clothespin magnets. (Somewhere during their journey home they lost their eyes and antenna.)

I was serenaded with You Are My Sunshine.

And discovered the paper plate portraits of me and Matt.



Matt was a little bit concerned about the thinning hair, but didn't voice the slightest worry that Grace made him a brunette instead of a blonde that matches her own hair color.

Timelines

It's a little bit ironic that this is my 300th post. A big, fat round number to accompany a post that forever changed our lives and the dynamic of our family. The birth of our second daughter.


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At my 35th week OB appointment, my favorite doctor said it was too early to schedule Clare's induction, but suggested I start taking Primrose Oil vitamins to help speed up the process. Okey-doke doc.

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During the start of my 36th week, Matt came home with the Pimp-Daddy-Caddy. That weekend the three of us went out to dinner. Matt ordered margaritas and I prayed to God that my belly would de-wedge from the booth we sat in. Given my alcohol free state, I drove home. At a stoplight I was tentative on the gas. Matt chided me and told me not to underestimate the power of the Caddy. She may be 16 years old, but could shotgun from a red light like nobody's business.

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At my 37th week OB appointment, the same doctor rubbed her hands together eagerly and declared she was going to make the phone call and get my induction time slot scheduled. She came back minutes later and declared Sunday, April 25 my arrival time and I should have a baby in hand by the 26th.

She also decreed that she wasn't going to bother checking my cervix because she was sure 'I was still hard as a rock' and there was no need to put me though such an unpleasant exam unnecessarily. When I reminded her that I had been taking the Primrose Oil pills she suggested, she complemented herself on being smart enough to suggest them, but still said an exam was not needed.

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At 37 weeks and 6 days, the night before I was scheduled for the induction I was awoken from my sleep with contractions. I sat downstairs from 1 - 3:30 am counting them. They ranged from 7 minutes apart to 21 minutes apart. Finally I convinced myself to go back to sleep, that no even if they were more than just crazy Braxton Hicks, they weren't regular enough to do anything about right now anyway.

After a few more hours of sleep, I woke feeling as if nothing had happened in the wee morning hours.

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I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 6:30 pm on Sunday. Around 5 pm my stomach started to hurt. A little after 6 pm, while in the car on the way to the hospital I started having contractions. Not the 'oh my God I can't breathe kind of ones' they say are the true indicators of labor, but still definitely there. I went from nothing to 7 minutes part.

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At 6:25 pm, as we sat at one of the last stoplights standing in our way between us and the hospital, Matt decided to demonstrate the power of the Pimp-Daddy-Caddy as we made the final turn.

My water broke.

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Approximately 7 hours later, and almost exactly 24 hours from what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions the night before, I held my daughter in my arms without the assistance of pitocin.

One Week

Clare has been here for 1 week now. 7 days.

It was a week of numbers.

31 - 87 (blood sugars)
11 - 96 (blood serums)
17 - 12.3 (bilirubin)
24 (daily heel sticks)
2 (IV's thrust into her tiny hands)
60 (hours spent hovering next to a tiny isolette)
Millions (of tears shed)

I know what I am. I knew what the risks were, though I never really acknowledged they might happen to us. None of it ever touched Grace.

It is so much easier to be rational about our 4 days in NICU now that we are free and confirmed healthy. It is so much easier now to look back on those days and see that they were in fact short.

During my vigil at Clare's side, I kept telling myself not to wallow in pity. She WAS healthy. She was only in here as precaution. Look around you at the poor souls thrust into this world way too early. Clare was full term with temporary inflictions.

SHE WAS THE HEALTHY ONE.

But it was still unbelievably hard and my heart will always ache with a new type of understanding for parents with NICU babies.

Now we fill our days with different numbers. Smiles and giggles and kisses and hugs and cuddles, already numbering well past the number of tears shed.

The Arrival

Clare Elizabeth

Born: April 26, 2010

Time: 2:47 am

Weight: 7 lbs 15 oz

Length: 20 inches

Public Service Announcement

I’m 38 weeks pregnant today.

Baby Center is a gift to pregnant women. Whether it is your 1st kid or your 8th, there is something reassuring about knowing what your body is doing in a given week. 40 weeks of updates. 40 weeks of pictures. 40 weeks of reassurance and cutsie quips about pregnancy.

By the time you’re at this point, the quips definitely aren’t cute anymore. Being told that your kid weighs as much as a small watermelon isn’t funny. It is annoying because it means you now have 7lbs rolling around in your abdomen trying to scratch their way free from uterine bondage.

This is the picture that goes along with 38 weeks pregnant at Baby Center.

This is what the picture is missing. The IMPORTANT things that the picture is missing.

Let me explain.

1. Ribs- Do you see where those feet are? Yep, right in the ribs. Kicking and stretching and getting a work out right into your rib bones. Oh, and a little bit of lung too just for good measure.

2. Bladder- At least they show the bladder as compressed in the picture. What the untrained eye doesn’t see though is that it is the pressure pinnacle of the 7+ pounds in the womb. That means every time you stand up, you have to pee. Every time you move you have to pee. Even when there is nothing actually in your bladder, it still feels like you have to pee.

3. Colon- I have been fortunate to not have any gastro-intestinal issues with pregnancy. It does not change the fact, however; that there is still a portion of the bladder pressure distributed to the other side of the head. That when the baby has the hiccups and starts bouncing around, she is bouncing off delicate internal bits sending your colon into odd vibrating spasms. Not cool kid, not cool.

4. Spine- Finally, the spine. I keep describing my back pain as how I imagine it would feel if the baby was chewing on my spinal-cord. Sometimes I am convinced that she is. Either way, look at where the elbow is. I swear she has my pointy elbows.

As I write this, my whole belly is shaking. She is testing out the escape routes, deciding between north, south, east and west. Poking and prodding to find the path of least resistance. Right now, I think she is going with exiting through my back.

I really, really hope she changes her mind.

It's New to Us Anyway

I single parented again while Matt went on a road trip. It was quick, a total of 55 hours (yes, I kept track). And I did have the option of tagging along, but 13 hour drives are not conducive to 37 week pregnant and 2.5 year old bladders.

So where did he go - and WHY? Well.... back to Chicago for an upgrade.

See, this was our/his car.

It was the very first car we bought because about 2 months after moving from Chicago to Washington, DC both of our cars died. Within 2 weeks of each other. Mine would no longer start, and his decided not to stop one day. (Thank God it ended its life in the parking lot of our apartment complex and not on the highway!)

Anyway.... we were gun-shy about the idea of buying another used car and all the potential problems that goes with thousands of miles already attached to a car. So we found this little number at the Saturn dealership.

The Saturn SL Spring Special. (Note - this is NOT our car - but I am encouraged that these folks think they can get $5,000.00 for the car!) I think we paid around $8,000.00 for the car brand new. It was no perks- stick shift (which I never did figure our how to drive), crank windows, CD player only because it came standard with the car- type of vehicle. But we could afford it and it was dependable.

Then we had Grace, and her car seat took up 2/3 of the backseat. We bumped her head every time we took her in or out of the car. It was small. Too small for two children to comfortably be strapped into. Add to that, that my SUV has over 125,000 miles on it and is making funny noises again.

We started talking upgrades. We started talking about what we wanted to replace our cars with. We started talking about finances and price points. And the conversations about new cars stopped.

Until Matt was on the phone with his dad a few weeks ago and was informed - sadly - he had just put a For Sale sign on his Caddy. *sniff* Oh wait, you just did WHAT? Hmmm....

Hence, our upgrade.

Sure, it's not what we would have picked out of a car lot. But it is a 1994, solid as a rock, dependable as the day is long, only sporting 30,000 miles luxury vehicle that has been kept immaculate through its succession of owners. Now it has us. Poor car.

And for all of you who's first question was, 'What color is it?', with the hopes of Pimp-Daddy ice blue or mint green, my memory had failed me. It is not the bland taupe I had remembered. I the shade it looks brown-ish, but in the sun- OH! IN THE SUN!!- it is a mocha / purple color!

Rock on!!

And, it comes from the land before CD players in cars, so we have our very own throw-back tape player!

Ummm .... does anyone have any tapes?

Artistic Liberties

Yesterday, Gracie wanted to go outside for a walk.

Matt obliged.

She wanted to race him, which constitutes running between our driveway and the neighbors.

Matt obliged.

She got tired, and wanted Matt to carry her while they raced.

Matt obliged.

(And Grace somehow kept ‘winning’ the races.)

Matt got tired of running while carrying a 30lb child and Gracie wanted to draw on the driveway in chalk.

Matt obliged.

Grace wanted to be drawn on the ground.

Matt obliged.

She then wanted me to draw Matt, while she worked on the detail work.

Matt obliged.

And was very happy with the results.

Making A Difference, One Cube at a Time

I don't have many hits to this blog. I am OK with that. I am amazed by the fact that ANYONE reads this dribble about our lives and Gracie's shoes, and am blown away that readers from NES's blog have wandered over to read mine.

Sometimes readers come from unlikely sources though... like Matt's 20-something coworkers. Yeah Jasson, I'm talking about you. He was apparently enthralled by this post. Maybe it is because I didn't write anything else for over a week, so he had plenty of time to stare at the sad clown. Maybe he gets some sort of perverse pleasure from the forlorn.

Either way, he made a request for the clown and it now has a new home in a non-descript beige government cubicle.

And I'm glad to be of service to the select few who spend their time reading these pages, and I like to think that we are making a difference. Let me know if anyone else needs some 2 year old art to adorn their walls.

Matt's Race Report: Tune Up Tri

Per tradition, here is Matt's race report on Beginner Triathlete. Yea Matt!!

Race: Tune Up Tri
Race Type: Triathlon - Sprint
Age Group: Male 35 - 39
Time: 0:27:16
Overall Place: 6 / 252
Age Group Place: 1 / 17
Comment: Not exactly an Ironman, but...

Race Report:
Ok, disclaimer first that this was a super sprint, and heavily marketed to beginners, but still, there were some pretty fast folks here, and it was cool to get my first tri-award of any kind.

I did this race two years ago with some friends, it's a fun chance to go out and race as hard as you can without holding back. They do the race backwards due to the weather, so it's run, bike, swim. I stayed down at my cousin's place the night before, and brought our two year old to give my (8 months pregnant) wife a break. I caught a huge break in that my wave was the first off, on such a short course it's easy to get trapped behind or around folks.

Run:

1.4 miles, Time: 8:37

It felt like I ran very consistently. I think I was seventh or eighth in my wave for the whole run. There were a couple of uneven sections with mulch/mud, but nothing too bad. All the turns helped with seeing the folks behind me. I remember looking at my Garmin coming into T1, it measured the course at 1.3 miles. Even at 1.3, I'll take sub-7 miles any day!

T1: :38

Made the right call switching from cleats to toe cages, fastest T1 in the whole event. ;)

Bike:

4 miles, Time: 11:37

I passed one or two people in T1, so I think I was in fifth or sixth for my wave heading out on the bike. I tried to get sped up as fast as I could, since I knew the first 180 was coming up almost immediately. By the second mile I had passed all but the guy who would end up finishing first in the wave (but in all fairness, several of the people I passed were on hybrids and the like). Given the number of turns, I was really happy with being able to average just over 20 MPH. It was pretty funny gunning as fast as you could for a few minutes, and then whoa-ing up to do the hairpins.

T2: 1:08
Almost blew it here. Coming up to the dismount line, a volunteer was shouting to slow down, get ready to dismount, etc. I was braking fine, but two things conspired to almost wipe me out: as I came to a stop the volunteer reached out and grabbed my bike while at the same time my left foot got caught in the toe cage. I did a really fun front wheelie with the back tire coming almost all the way around. Almost ate a catch fence, but I got back under control. Whew!

I had considered going sockless because the race was so short, but it ended up being no problem getting my shoes and socks off, and then headed into the pool.

Swim:

250 yard snake swim, Time: 5:18

I could tell right off the bat that I wouldn't be catching the one guy in front of me, but I did see the guy behind me enter the pool area just as I was getting in. The first couple lengths felt fine, but I was really struggling at the end. The guy behind me got pretty close, but couldn't quite catch me. Hopped out and jogged to the final timing mat.

Snake swims are kind of tricky, since you're ducking under ropes, pushing off, etc. But it was awesome having the lanes to myself. This was only my third swim since like October, so obviously some more prep would have helped.

I knew finishing 2nd in my wave guaranteed I was going to win something, since waves were divided by AG's. I was really excited, since this was going to be my first award of any kind. Some of the younger folks in the next wave ended up smoking the field, plus I found out the guy ahead in my wave was the same AG.

Not sure what happened, but they handed out ONE penalty for the entire race, and it was the guy who beat me, so I got 1st in AG! AND my daughter was there to get my award with me. Sweet.